day twenty five: monumental inspiration
star axis is a naked eye observatory near santa fe, new mexico, that artist charles ross has been building for over 45 years. i had the thrill of touring the ‘architectonic sculpture’ with charles and his wife, artist jill o’bryan. star axis is scheduled to open to the public in 2022.
it was requested that no photos be taken at star axis. the photographs in this post are courtesy of the artist.
i called jill from the gas station to let her know that i was close, as she instructed me to. i then drove down a paved two-lane road that looked just like every other road i had been driving on in new mexico. at a certain mile marker, i started to look to the left for a two-track i had been told to watch for, and eventually i saw it. passing the cattleguard, i pulled onto the dirt road in my friend’s borrowed 4runner. my stomach was full of butterflies.
i drove down the rugged two-track wondering if it was the right one, and for what seemed like forever. then i saw a hand-built bridge that i had heard charles talk about in an interview and again my stomach electrified with nerves as i crossed it. i continued on the road until i came to a fork, and looking closely, i saw faded, rusty metal sign that read ‘star axis’.
i took the fork to the left, as instructed, and combed the high mesa for a clue that i was on the right track.
and there it was.
a structure i was so familiar with, but seeing it in person, made me catch my breath. it was thrilling. i stepped on the gas and took the trail around the far side of the mesa until i passed a first, and then second gate. as i began to climb up the muddy incline, i passed the newly finished (and outer space-looking) guest houses and immediately knew that i would come back and stay in them one day.
the climb grew more steep and more muddy, and i was certain i was going to have to walk all those miles back to the gas station to call my friend to say that i left the 4runner in the mud at star access. but then my childhood growing up and learning to drive on northern michigan country roads kicked in and i confidently made my way over the mud and ice and snow and craggy rocks.
when i came around the last turn, i saw that a pick-up truck had been in front of me and i knew right away that it was charles. i followed the rusty, dusty truck up the curved hill and star axis came into my vision.
i parked behind charles‘ truck, and as he opened his door two dogs leapt out from behind him. i stumbled out of the 4runner in my excitement. i couldn’t decide what to give my attention to first—charles, the dogs, or the massive presence of star axis.
charles introduced himself, pointed at the smaller dog at his side, “this is pi,” and gestured toward the edge of the mesa where the other dog was barking, “and that’s tika." he then invited me to follow him and we walked out on one of the two overlooks of star axis. he accompanied me to the thick granite railing and swept his arm across the entirety of the horizon, explaining “you can see the curvature of the earth ever so slightly from up here.” i was immediately overcome with feeling very tiny in the immense landscape. i could have stood and stared all day, but charles lead us along the overlook until we were at the center of star axis. crossing over the middle, we paused and looked down at the stairs rising up and underneath—the stairs we would climb in a few minutes. we continued on with pi at our side and tiki running wide laps around us, barking, as charles explained that she must hear something out there. he told me that he and jill had found her on the side of the road a few years ago, so weak she was unable to even climb into their truck when they offered her a ride. they loaded her up and took her to the vet and tika had been with them ever since. he said she was a lucky dog that day, to go from seeking out garbage to eating prosciutto on a plane to new york.
we walked around the opposite side, down a path framed by thorny shrubs. after descending around to the bottom, we were then at the base of star axis. the massive angled entrance made me very aware of the weight and density of the earth on either side of me. charles pointed out one rough boulder unlike the other smooth flat finished surfaces of the hundreds of other stones, and said he haven’t decided if he was going to leave it like that. i hoped that he would.
we walked slowly toward the base of the stairway and i felt more and more enveloped by the earth surrounding us.
at base of the stairs, we each ducked into the alcove on either side, looking back the way we came. charles explained that on the solstice, the sun will shine directly down the face of the wall, in perfect alignment.
tika barked, i think in agreement.
charles then asked, “well, want to go up?” and we began the 10-story climb, with tika far ahead and pi leading up the rear of our star axis parade.
halfway up, we stopped to catch our collective breath, and charles stood in the middle of the steps, “if you hold the railings like this,” taking a railing in each of his hands, “it centers you in the very middle of the stairs.” i took his advice, and i felt definitively balanced.
when we got to the top, we each took a side, like we had done in the equatorial chamber. he explained to me that if you sit with you back along the wall, as he demonstrated and leaned back looking up out of the aperture, then you are aligned with the equator, and looking up along the axis of the earth. i mirrored his actions, and felt greatly supported by the bench’s solid angles.
and i felt as if something a little more than physical may have aligned in me, sitting there with charles.
i looked out of the aperture, imagining the past or future orbit of polaris. what a vision charles had—to build something that will outlive himself, me, and most likely all of humankind. “oh! watch yourself there. we’ve got an owl who likes to perch there, and, err, make some donations…” charles warned me, and thankfully, before i placed my hands in bird poop disguised as mortar.
nature. always with the last word.
we descended from the upper room and made our way to the shadow field behind the solar pyramid. as we stood in the winter shade of the structure, charles knelt down and drew a bow tie shape in the earth, explaining that this was the shape the shadow makes over the course of the year. i longed to scoop up the drawing in the dirt; i felt an immense gratitude for this moment i was experiencing with charles.
we then entered the base of the solar pyramid and took some wide block spiral steps up into the hour chamber. charles lead me to a wooden bench (temporarily wooden, soon to be granite) and gestured for me to take a seat. he sat on a bench next to me made of a board on two cinder blocks, which i found endearing. i imagined all the visitors who’d come before me, and sat next to charles, listening and looking.
as we made our way out, and into the new mexico sunlight, charles asked if i’d like to see his studio and meet jill. i followed him back down the muddy, slippery switchback (SO muddy, SO slippery!) and out both gates, then he motioned for me to park the 4runner and hop in with him. i did, and tika and pi welcomed me into the truck with them.
we rambled up the neighboring mesa, and while confident in my off-road driving, i was quite thankful charles was at the wheel over the cliff-hugging track. we rounded a corner and his solar burn lenses (so familiar to me from reading about his work) were revealed along with the house and both his and jill’s studios.
after i saw charles’ and jill’s studios, i met jill and gave her the 2 jars of overnight oats and 2 tangerines i brought for them, suddenly feeling silly, as if they hadn’t been coming up to star axis for over 40 years with ample breakfast provisions. jill accepted graciously, as well as letting me know how much they appreciated my interest in the project to make the trip.
charles and i walked back outside where the dogs greeted us, and he offered to drive me back down to my borrowed truck. he also offered for me to head back up to star axis to spend some time there alone. i was overcome with gratitude and excitement, and would head back up the mesa to star axis for another hour or so after he dropped me off.
charles pulled up next to the 4runner and thanked me for coming. i reciprocated, thanking him for touring star axis with me. i also asked him, as i was climbing out of his truck, “has your motivation ever waned, over all these years?” and without missing a breath, charles said, “no. never.”